Apologies to those who have visited, subscribed, commented and waited to catch the middle and end of my last post as well as those who have commented on previous posts. I will eventually complete it (with Mrs G’s input) but right now I’ve/we’ve come up to a serious crossroads.

Some of my old WLS friends have already heard about our house repossession way back in 2000.
It was an experience which taught us a lot and makes us very sympathetic when seeing and hearing about others who are going through similar situations. After going into temporary accommodation we were blessed to be housed (within the same year) via our current housing association.

The house we have been renting has was not insulated and decorated to a proper standard and in August this year (despite us needing a transfer to a larger property) we were moved into an even smaller temporary accommodation while our rental has been modernized.
They are now nearing completion of the work and within the next week or so we are going to be doing the pack up and move scenario all over again, probably as early as next week.

We have a plan (albeit a not so concrete one) which takes into consideration some of the many “things” which can happen in life.
We have discussed the many different opportunities which will be provided once that plan is put into action but we are waiting for various key things to fall into place.
Where do we go from here? Will we continue to run the business? Will the writing and other things become more of a full time occupation, or will it be relegated to a ‘weekend thing’?
So many serious questions to answer, while we wait for something special to occur within the next week or two.

Writing is obviously difficult at this present moment in time but I will endeavor to answer all comments, visit blogs and complete my own posts by the ending of next week.
To say it’s a bit of a pivotal point in our lives would not be too theatrical, we are most definitely at the start of something new but as to which direction we take…only God knows.

No need to comment on this post, it is just an update…
I’m off now to have my family evening meal and some birthday cake.

My question is a simple but it’s one that probably has a complex answer…Does our past have any bearing on how we view and undertake relationships?

I’ll finish this later, I’m too tired now and I don’t want to rush it, please come back again tomorrow.

© Singles to Couples, Phil & Lois Gayle, 2011.
The copying and reproducing of any of the material, is strictly prohibited without the agreed and written permission of Phil & Lois Gayle.

We are not discounting those born before 1970 (the year of my birth) however, in our experience, we have found that our age has often been a barrier to ‘some’…especially those who came into this world before 1970.

However, it could be “arguably” said that the pre-70s peeps were a little better at forming, committing and keeping a relationship, than us post 70s peeps…Hence the focus on the latter age group.

Lois and I are on a Journey with this concept, we are taking our time to build it, making sure we continually put ourselves under the microscope, providing constant self-examination, in order to “keep things real”.
We are ‘obviously’ aware of the dangerous waters we will occasionally navigate through but (in keeping with a nautical theme) we are more focused on charting our course and steering the ship to discover the many ‘positive’ possibilities that this journey may reveal.

It starts with these Blog posts and possibly involves us doing an online radio show, it would also be nice if we get a book published, I complete a counseling course (to put paper confirmation to something I’ve been doing naturally since I was a teenager) as well as hosting seminars and workshops…who knows…I do love a challenge.
Some of these Blog posts will be converted into chapters for that book I mentioned and no matter what age, whether single or married, we really look forward to your input.

I know most are busy with life outside the Blog-world, while some are busy with their own writings and follow-ups etc. so my aim (barring any unforeseen circumstances) is to publish a post every other day.
Hopefully this will give Lois a chance to keep up with her inserts, people time to read, comments to be made (if any) and me the time to answer any comments, as well as read the other interesting posts which are being published by fellow Bloggers.
Some of those posts are being published at such a rapid pace…slow down some of you, step away from the PC ‘sometimes’ and give us a chance to catch up.

The next post….“Maybe our past does matter.”

© Singles to Couples, Phil & Lois Gayle, 2011.
The copying and reproducing of any of the material, is strictly prohibited without the agreed and written permission of Phil & Lois Gayle.

OK, my questions are concerning Blog Themes.
It’s not because I use it, but am I right in thinking the Twenty Eleven theme is the most popular?
Which theme do you use and why?
Have you customised it?
Do you change your theme, if so, how often?
If, like me, you’ve added your own Header/Banner image how would you feel if someone copied it and pasted it somewhere on their Blog…without asking you?

Whether you’re one of my current ‘Fellow Bloggers’ or not, I would like to hear your opinion.

• They all have great Blogs
• They have submitted posts within the last two months
• They have not already been nominated (or I have not seen the VB graphic on their Blog)
• I’ve also include the Blog of the person who has nominated me.

AMANDA MARIE’S TIME OUT
ღ Amy……Running Amok
Androgoth A Ghoulishly Exciting Read…
Does This Face Look Bothered?
I Don’t Fear The Chaos!
IT’s My Thoughts
Jenny Goth
Miss Demure Restraint
Petejudge67′s Blog
Poems ‘n Stuff
Redsun4sunhawk2lifedance’s Blog
Thegeeman’s Blog
V.D. Coleman
Witchy Woman
Wordsfallfrommyeyes
YungYoof

If you haven’t already visited the Blogs please feel free to do so.
And in fulfilling the last part of the criteria, here are  7 things the Blog world doesn’t know about me (which I have not put on the “About Phil & The Lounge” page).

1. My working life started (part-time) at the age of 13.

2. I was a vegetarian for 15 years of my life.

3. I hated cabbage when I was young.

4. I had my first proper kiss at 16.

5. I’m in the process of making a big transition in my working life, changing our small business services, moving away from Database software development.

6. I will soon be presenting an online radio show with Lois on the Luv:316 Radio station.

7. I would like to have a couple of books published.

On the other hand, if you’ve been affected, directly or indirectly by youth gun or knife crime.
If you have a daughter who has been raped or forced to do degrading sexual acts.
If your daughter comes home and tells you she has been inappropriately touched.
If you have a son who has been bullied or led astray into a gang or is an instigator of a gang…
You would be feeling that the reported negative news concerning youth society are not exaggerated at all…

I really do feel for the majority of good youth who stay out of trouble and focus on working hard and ‘cleanly’ enjoying their childhood/youth.

I would really like to be writing a total positive post right now, full of hope, purity and moral goodness.
Some would love that as it would help them to continue to live in a place where they believe children are children for as long as they can be and commend me for not being morbid.
While others, would accuse me of being unrealistic and an idealistic dreamer who has lost touch with reality.

It’s obvious that having the life taken away from a child, grandchild, niece or nephew is the absolute worst and devastating to all.
However, there is another evil that is attacking some of the youth, working away in stealth and being blatantly ignored by some adults and overlooked or missed by others… and it’s that of sexual immorality.
Please don’t misunderstand me, I’m not a prude, monk or eunuch…in the right context, I think the ‘God given’ gift of sex is wonderful, it’s natural, it’s great and very enjoyable.
For this particular post, I’m looking at a few ‘wrong context’ areas, the areas where juvenile minds are delving into adult worlds where they have no business being in.

I’ve been guilty…
Admittedly, in my past, I have been privy to seeing the odd, dirty magazine banded about by friends & peers, been round to the friend’s house and seen one of his older brothers ‘videos’.
No different than most pubescent boys?…maybe…but was that the norm?
I most definitely wasn’t one of those teens who had a secret ‘top-shelf’ stash of magazines, or on friendly terms with the local video rental shop owner, in order to obtain his “behind-the-shelf” or back-room rentals.
Those kids always seemed to be a bit sad, they were the ones who always looked at girls/women as objects and referred to them in that manner.

Technology and it’s effects
The inspired mind of mankind has created technology, which has brought so many positive advancements in the last 5 years, let alone the last 20-30 years.
And as with most things, it can be used positively, or negatively, obviously depending on the mind of the individual using it.
Up to a few years ago, the computer was the youths tool of choice to access the world of pornography, via the internet.
Educational establishments, parents and all were rightly advised to monitor the activities of those young minds whilst they use the internet.
Website blocking and parental control software was soon implemented on most educational establishments & libraries computers.
However, that still left public access places such as internet cafe’s as well as the home PCs as places to access porn.
I know it is difficult for some parents to understand how to protect their computers but most have gained understanding or paid someone to set-up and protect their children’s computers.

Individuals and their choices
The problem is, there are a lot of computers ‘still’ in bedrooms, or studies, when they should be in the shared communal areas in the home.
There are a lot of naive parents who believe, their kids are only doing homework, playing games etc. and that their children won’t be tempted to look into the danger areas of the net.
There are also a lot of parents who are too tired to care or supervise their children.
There are parents/guardians who are aware of the dangers but don’t think there is any harm in it, or they believe their kids will, ‘grow out of it’.
What a minefield…trying to get a common agreement amongst parents is extremely difficult (re: It’s not always the parents fault).

The not-so-smart phones
For those of us who have: -
Moved the PC to the ‘family room’ and implemented the necessary web blocks etc.
Spoken to all our children’s friends parents and our siblings and come to an agreement of what we all expect when our kids are at others houses.
Ensured that they know of their teens whereabouts, knowing that they are in safe, good environments.
There is another tool, which (over the last few years) has become the preferred method to share and view pornography amongst the youth and that is the Smart phone, or as I like to call it, the not-so-smart phone.
As I have previously mentioned, why does an under 18, who is not running their own business need a smart phone?
I know, there are thousands of teens with smart phones who may use it responsibly but all it takes is one ‘numpty’ to share “that video” and that’s it.

The problems run a bit deeper
Consumerism, exaggerated notion/idea of teen rights, liberals, the politically correct brigade, kicking God out of school set-ups, removing the parental rights of discipline, children having children…
Are all contributing factors to some of the problems affecting the teens.
It is a problem…
When girls, as well as boys are enjoying and sharing porn.
When girls lose sight of the fact that females are being objectified.
When girls are pressured, to look cool and sexy by succumbing to the pressures placed on them by other girls as well as boys, to perform oral, anal, threesomes etc.
When boys are under pressure to live up to the often edited and unrealistic videos they see.
When boys are seriously misguided to believe that being a ‘man’ in the bedroom, equals, gagging, slapping, choking and speaking obscenities to girls.
When boys feel that the only way they can be impressive in the bedroom, is to try to get with a sex worker, to gain experience.
When girls feel that the only way for them to be looked at as the hot & sexy girl to be with, is to allow all manner of degrading acts to be done to her.
When girls are lured into the sex industry by force or by the notion of earning a lot of money.
When kids at primary school age are seeing their elder siblings videos and photos on their phones and go to school trying to emulate by touching other children inappropriately…

We have a serious problem people and whether you are a parent or not, it’s one that should be a concern to you.
It’s a problem which goes a bit deeper than a boy having some ‘masturbatory’ material.
When boys hang around in groups with one or two girls who ‘service’ those boys with oral sex and other sexual activities.
It’s very serious when girls allow themselves or are forced into becoming a group of boys ‘play thing’, where only those boys are “allowed” to touch them.
It’s obviously dangerous and degrading when girls will be bullied or pressurised into doing things which they feel will help to keep their boyfriends from going off with someone else.
These things are happening (to a greater or lesser degree) in schools, colleges etc. all over.
They may not be happening with the majority of children, thank God, but if they are happening to even one child, surely that’s bad enough.

Porn is not to blame
The counter arguments from supporters of porn will say it’s not porns fault…
Parents should control their kids and know what they get up to.
The affected children have other emotional issues and problems which need to be addressed.
Educational establishments should ensure that they properly monitor the children in those secluded areas of the school playgrounds, toilets and corridors.

Porn is a major factor
While all of the above counter arguments are true, all intelligent adults must agree that the porn, sexual imagery in adverts, some dance choreography, music videos, games, TV soaps and movies etc. are all major influences of the youth mind.
All are money-making industries and it’s obvious that in societies where money means more than life to many, it will be hard to try to ban or stop them.
What adults want to do in their own time in the privacy of their own homes is entirely up to them.
I’m talking about the under 18s involving themselves in things which most adults don’t even do.
The recent situation of the 14-year-old girl Amber Cole being filmed performing acts on a boy in the USA is a prime example of what I’m talking about.
Those things, whether filmed or not are happening in/around all sorts of schools and we all need to work towards keeping those severe serious situations at a minimum.

Finding some solutions
Parents need to network with other parents and friends of families and agreements on acceptable forms of behaviour need to be made.
Common sense positioning of computers need to be enforced by parents/guardians.
Parents & guardians need to take the time to monitor and know what their children are up to.
The not-so-smart phones need to be replaced by the perfectly good phones which allow calls, text messages, a music player and maybe the ability to take some photos.
If those phones can’t be replaced, parents/guardians should call the service provider and ask them to switch off, the internet access and picture service…that way they cannot send or receive incident photos and videos…Putting the adult age restriction on the service is not enough.
Schools need to properly enforce, their no mobile phones rule.
The schools/educational establishments also need to admit to the parents that there is a moral problem concerning some of their students and they need to call the guilty parties and parents in to deal with the problems.
Those who do not have children but have the knowledge of posts and other information like this, should make their family members or friends with children aware of the possible dangers of these phones.
It doesn’t matter if kids can’t instant message on the go, or access their social network accounts from a phone…Here’s an idea, they can send them a text or call their friends and speak to them…or if they must access those time-wasting social networks they can use a computer (shock horror) and do that within a shared area of their home.

Making a difference…It’s not all doom and gloom.
I know we live in a time where people do not want to be informed or advised by others, especially in the sensitive area of children and parenting.
That old saying “All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing” comes to mind…
If we all sit back and think, ‘I’ll just look after mine’ we are in danger of helping the situation to get worse.
What others do can have a knock on effect on us and ours…we could pray, think positive thoughts etc. but we all need to put some positive ‘action’ into the next generation.
We’ve recently heard about gangs forcing girls into becoming sex workers here in the UK, those in the States have recently heard about the Amber Cole incident.
And some of us have heard of situations happening in our own children’s schools…I can tell you that we have.

Change needs to start somewhere, so why not with us…I don’t know about you but I would like to know that by us working with the school and other parents, we would hope to have prevented something serious happening to someone else’s child.
If we care, we have to work together to prevent other incidents like the one concerning Amber Cole.
We have to acknowledge that there are many juvenile minds which are delving into an adult world and while they think it’s fun (getting up to things they think us adults don’t know about) it’s in fact very detrimental to them, in more ways than they realise.

To all you Blog spammers do me a favour… don’t leave your comments, manual automated or otherwise…to use a British colloquial term…”Jog on”.

And to my valued readers and fellow post writers, I’ve been busy but my next post is another ‘feature length’ one…lol!
Hope to find something interesting at your place…be round soon.

The people of Libya made a strong statement by killing the Colonel and as they put it ‘freeing themselves’ the situation was inevitable but just as I stated in my dictatorship democracy post, it is only just the beginning.
It’s really time for the dictators to stop stifling the people and allow them to have a say in how their country is governed.
Politics may affect most but love and relationships affect us all…barring a couple of expose posts I’ll finally be my publishing our ‘Singles to Couples’ posts…
Bye for now.

http://www.consumerfraudreporting.org/reporting.php

http://www.scambook.com/report/view/26555/YesAsia.com-False-Advertising-for-483.00-on-10-14-2011